my libido by Deniz Gül
Updated: Jun 21
*The following is excerpted from Deniz Gül's book, "there is life between us (+transparency). December 2020. notonlypublications. Istanbul. Translated by Rana Kelleci and Deniz Gül
I'll tell you about my libido. It's different than yours.
In fact, I have just elaborated on my libido. Now, I'll explain it in the language that you will understand.
When I walk naked in my flat, kids in the neighbouring school flock to the windows (+glass) together, watch my body (+image). Since I do not conceal myself, they take shelter under the window frames, hiding their peeping from me. They feel ashamed because they are watching. Yet still, they look with curiosity and appetite. You want me to conceal and incite an erotic appetite so that these children can look, free from shame.
Making love begins when it falls away from the gaze. This is short-lived pleasure, what you're going through. Let me continue telling you about my libido.
My libido is the explosion of a fungus moistened on a knotted branch along the stripped trunk of a tree. My libido is skin wearing thin. A glacier calving in masses in the sun's heat; water that foams as it flows, rises as it falls; a rock that's been wearing down for a lifetime. A piece of paper being torn. The bass and treble vibration of a barbed wire, perhaps a tense guitar string; swinging dim states of gesture sweating, juddering 'til it heals. The sound of a flute carved from a bear's tibia. The tension within the meaning. A whirlwind. Boiling milk. Flocks of frogs courting each other at night. The hand of a dying woman is my libido. My aching ovaries; my underpants wet and smelling. A blind cat black is my libido. High, in short. It's so, for me, to feel, to rejoice.
Deniz Gül is a Turkish contemporary artist, conceptual sculptor and writer. Born in 1982, in Izmir (Smyrna), she is acknowledged for her work that subverts language; for Gül, language not only performs as text, but as sculpture and space as well. Her narrative exhibitions speak of structure, composition, form, and consequence. Her text work accompanies her exhibitions throughout. Gül's books and exhibitions are titled, Loyelow (2016), B.I.M.A.B.K.R. (2013), 5 Person Bufet (2011), Meydan (2020), and Scratch and Surface (2021) Gül's latest solo show, held at SALT Galata. She resides and works in Istanbul.